The past six months, since my last post, have been a whirlwind of happenings in my professional and private lives. I’ve spent so much time reflecting, but very little of that time committing my thoughts here or in my journal – perhaps because keeping it together and managing change have been more instinctual and in the moment – too much happening much too quickly.
The first week of January found me legally divorced and committed, more than ever, to resting my mind and body consistently. Early pandemic snacking caught up with me over the spring and summer months and by October 2020, I switched to portion control and fasting to get my weight to a healthier limit. By January, the signs were more visible that small changes were having a positive impact physically, but most people just assumed I was losing weight to accommodate my new singleness. 😂
I started eating more animal protein, not every meal, but fish and shrimp first. Gradually, I added chicken, and some lean pork. I haven’t returned to eating beef, and I’ll probably go back to vegetarianism before I do. In fact, June 1st just may signal my calendar transition to a vegetarian lifestyle. It was good to me and for me.
I’ve finally begun to understand the importance of hydration. Not so much because of my hair, but how lack of proper hydration impacts my digestion and overall sense of well-being. I feel better, I sleep better, I look better when my body is well hydrated.
By February, I was used to pandemic living and settling into the single life. Loving the freedom of movement, in space and in time, but content that I could remain friends with my ex. He really is a better friend to me, now that the expectations of partnership no longer envelope us, and I communicate with him at least once a week. I’m ready to open my heart again to the possibilities of a new relationship; peaceful communication, above all things, love can thrive in a peaceful, respectful environment.
March and Spring Break brought about the realization of the fragility of my mother. She had an elective knee replacement surgery, and I suddenly found myself focused on her…forced out of my selfishness over the past year…to take care of her financial needs, hospitalization, recovery, and rehab care. She’s had an amazing recovery, and seven weeks later, she’s back to work full-time. I managed to complete my second COVID vaccination shot in March – such a wonderful way to usher in spring.
As April approaches, my work, my career becomes the major preoccupation. Testing season and the final quarter of school find me flexing my leadership muscle in unexpected ways. I am suddenly “in charge,” and trying to logically sequence the additional responsibilities I have, along with my regular duties, so that the ship can stay afloat. Our team is incredibly strong and resilient, so we take each day as it comes, communicate freely and frequently, and love on each other – especially when it’s been tough – to overcome the major work of this season. Every day is dynamic and remaining emotionally constant is how I endeavor to show up every single day. Most days I win; a few times, I’ve had to shed a tear or two to release the pressure.
Mentorship has sustained me. From my instructional leadership director to my leadership coach, these Black and Beautiful women, who both happen to be my sorors, support me during moments of sheer panic to realizations of innate competency. I count on their thought partnership and accessibility – whether that’s at 6 am or 10 pm. They are ever present and available to me. Asé.
Here we are now, at the end of May, almost halfway through 2021, and several months into new realities for me in my professional and personal lives. I am strong. I am capable. I am a hard-worker. I am loving and worthy of love. I am a care-giver. I am a peacemaker. I am driven. I am intentional in all I do. I am becoming and accepting of my purpose. All that I have and all that I am, I owe it all to Thee.
1 Peter 5:7-9 (KJV)
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
Until next time,