Happy New Year! Just like that…another year has passed us by, and we have 365 more opportunities to usher in the light, live our best lives, and love – yes, love ourselves and others. I am very excited about what lies ahead for me in 2023! Since it’s been some time since I’ve blogged about my Sisterlock progression, I’ll share what’s been happening with my locs through pictures.

LIGHT

In July, my momma and I traveled to Washington, DC, one of her “bucket list” vacations. We had a great time, and whenever I spend at least one night with my mother, I’m reminded of her fragility as she ages. Our time together is precious. I am struggling to accept that she will not live forever. While she is still mentally and physically strong, it is important that we seize every opportunity to celebrate the light that still gleams in her eyes. My eyes are her eyes.

This summer, my locs continued to grow. I was not doing anything new or different. Regular six-week retis and bi-weekly shampoos remain the bulk of the secret sauce. Light scalp oil after shampoos to moisturize my scalp (which tends to be drier during the warm months) is all I use for regular maintenance. I don’t sleep in a bonnet or loc soc; I use a satin pillowcase and cover my locs with a clear plastic cap when I shower.

Speaking of light, I lightened my locs toward the end of August. The reddish brown has settled into a warmer brown, and now that it’s been a few months, the brown seems as though it’s always been there.

LIVING

By late summer, I stopped depriving myself of living a more carefree and spontaneous life. I booked two island vacations for October and December, and I stopped obsessing about making a good impression in my new role at work. After 25 years, some things naturally come to you – even if you don’t know how to reach the goal initially, confidence, planning, and teamwork go a long way. I’ve learned to sit in the discomfort long enough to overcome my fears…then spring into action because the answer is always within you.

This summer, I made major health decisions for optimal living. An elective procedure has changed my anatomy, vitamin and nutritional supplement regimen, as well as my pain management protocol. My locs have not suffered in the process, but I am watching closely how they may evolve over this next year. And, whoo hoo! I said goodbye to those braces! Wearing the upper retainer is the hardest thing in the world for me to do, but the sheer cost of this second set of braces ought to put things in perspective for me.

LOVE

In order to love, you first have to believe you are deserving of love. Self-worth, self-efficacy, and self-love are all interrelated. Post-divorce, I’ve had to exorcise some demons over the last two years. In the process, I’ve learned how to accept that love will find me again if I open my heart, let go of the past, and resolve that red flags are more about my intuitive sense – it ain’t gonna EVER work. After the half century mark, the prospect of finding love seems dim – aren’t all the good men taken? Well, I’m a good woman, and I’m not taken, so there’s optimistic hope that my better half is being pressurized, like a diamond, to join me soon.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying the dating process. Online dating is hilarious, entertaining, and downright outrageous at times. I’ve met some real characters, sprinkled with a few diamonds, and for every 100 “ain’t no ways” I encounter, one or two “alright nows” relax my nervous system. My frustrations, if any, are more about my expectations and pacing. I’m much easier on myself now. It occurred to me that for most of my adulthood, I have been in a serious relationship, engaged to be married, or married. Learning the rules of the dating “game” and accepting that dating is really a data collection process has been eye-opening. I’ve had to dig down deep into the core of who I think I am to accept some of the realities of dating.

The next chapter for me is just around the bend. I can feel it. The light, the living, and the love that I have inside of me are in constant orbital states; rotating to make sure I’m getting what I need when I need it. Call it Divine Protection, call it angelic forces, call it my late grandmothers holding me accountable.

I’m ready for whatever is coming my way in 2023!

Until next time,

Andi 😘